my first time exposing myself to the whole world

everyday, when we wake up,without we even realized it we rush into our daily routine. some rush to work, some rush to school,and some rush to whatever they've to do that day until the day come to its end. we're just like a programmed software in a reality world.

all around me i see people who are always in rush chasing their dreams. its looks wonderful how people being very effective with their role in their life. chasing dreams. pursuing successful life that they've always imagine.

dreams. everyone has it. whether it's long term or short term, a lot or a few, it doesn't matter, as long as you have it, you're in good condition. no worries.

when i was in kindergarten, my hobby is always playing toy soldiers so whenever people ask me about my dreams i just simply said "i wanna be a soldier". then, i came to primary school. my favorite cartoon at that time is dragon ball.it's every sunday at 9 or 9.30 am on tv2. so after my jkid football training which happened on sunday too, i quickly rushed home to watch it. i sketched a lot of the character from it in my note book. from their buff body to their spiky hair. i sketched everyday. then, my dreams changed. "i wanna be an architect". that's what i said when teachers ask me "what do you want to be when you grow adam?"

a part from dragon ball and football, i read a lot too. no. don't get me wrong. it's not those loveydovey novels. eventho i've read one which is "Adam & Hawa" hahaha. well that's the only loveydovey novel that i've ever read. it's pretty good one. you know, it has it's own unique love story. okay stop. let's go back to what i want to tell.

i read a lot too.i read malay fiction novels "siri kenari" if i was not mistaken. i guess that's why i've never got any problem to write malay esei in high school. then, i started writing in this blog. i  was 15 at that time. actually there's one girl who introduce me with this so called "blog". i've never met her. just an online friend that i've met in social networks. it was yahoo messenger era at that time. noooo. i'm not desperado okay. well u guys too for sure have chit chat with random people in social networks when you were in highschol rite? okay whatever, let's go back to the business that i've here.

everything i wrote back than in this black blog was really "sampah". don't believed it? go read the old old old old post if u "rajin". full of harsh words sometimes. articles that doesn't help you at all.haha

then, one day, my add math teacher happened to read my blog. Mrs Salhalida hehe. dia baru je kahwin. sory miss x sempat nk dtg majlis. hope you will be happy here and after :) and aku belum tunaikan nazar aku lagi. belanja miss makan kalau addmath aku A. well addmath aku A- je. tp ape ade hal janji A tu ada haha.

okay. back to trying-to-improve-your-english-adam.

Mrs Sal read my blog, at that time i got 37 for add math. yeah FAIL bro. i've always failed in add math eventho my mom is an add math teacher. forgive me mom for never fail to make you disappointed with my marks. the only time i got no fail was during spm trials. then in SPM *drum rolls sikit* i got A- baby. yeah. Alhamdulillah.  well i know most of u got A+ easily for it. guess what, good for u *thumbs up*. A- was good enough for me.

okay back to the topic. i posted a post that full with "kata-kata-carutan-menggambarkan-acah-acah-kekecewaan-ku-dengan-markah-addmath-ku". Now, imagine my addmath teacher read it. hahaha the next add math class she scolded me. well "marah tandanya sayang kan" ? :p haha

since then, "no-harsh-word-allowed-here" was invented in this black blog. "cuba-bayangkan-kalau-mak- ayah-awak-baca-blog-awak-yg-cenggini?awak-tak-malu-ke?" those words never left me bro. it stucked rite here in this head. that's why la my blog looks like nerdy now. well whatever as long as i don't "menconteng arang di muka ibu bapakku" it's okay rite ? haha

my love for words, quotes, poems and languages keeps on growing since then. being a writer or journalist or poet or novelist did cross my mind. but you know, those insecurities "bagus-sgt-ke-aku-menulis-ni" , "boleh-g-jauh-ke-aku-dgn-benda-ni" and etc. so this kind of dream of mine stopped there.

when i came to form 4, i don't want to go to boarding school. i did rebel a bit that time. but bro, how can you beat your own father rite ? tell me who dare? no one i guess. then i go to pure science school where i met a bunch of wonderful friends like syamsul fitri, amirul hafidz, mukhsin, khalis, ridhwan ahmad, hilmi raban,syafiq rumzi and others. i should have make a deal with my dad that time, "if-i'm-going-to-boarding-school-i-want-to-do-lukisan-kejuruteraabn-punya-course-not-biology". i really should have do that. but well when you're young you think with your anger rather than you brain. now i learned to always think wisely before doing anything. cewaah. poyo.

i love drawing. i may not be good in it but i love it. people said to make your passion your job so that you don't have to really work. quite true though. but well at that time i thought "just take this mitosis meosis thingy then go being architect when the time comes". 

after spm....

i worked as a chef in ayamas rasamas. then i fall in love with cooking. hahahaha my ambitions turn to be a chef. not just a chef. i want to open my own brand frachise like secret-recipe-but-not-secret-recipe-lah-kan haha

but..my mom don't allowed me. well maybe bcoz i never really cook at home that she thinks my-son-was-just-confused-he's-not-serious-about-it-and-whaaaaat?-chef?-not-a-secured-and-safe-job-scope maybe? i don't know. how lah i can read my mom mind rite? haha

so now come the time to apply for higher level education. cewaaah. university bro. i try to find scholarship for culinery though but i can't find it :( all that available are engineering, medic, pharmacy, businness, accountancy bla bla bla those boring and dah-berlambak-orangnya-dalam-dunia-pekerjaan.

in the end *drum rolls lg sikit*

here i am in University of Nottingham Malaysia Campus (UNMC) doing chemical with environmental engineering. of coz under some sort of scholarship lah. tak mampu bro nak masuk tempat orang orang kaya macam ni.  puluhribu setahun yurannya.

as you can see as the time goes by my passion changed. from soldier to architect to writer/poet to chef to engineer...........i still hope i can have my own secret-recipe-but-not-secret-recipe-lah....when? i don't know? can i fulfill that dream?well i don't know too.

seriously i don't know what i want to be after i graduated. being an engineer ? i'm afraid i might caused another massive accident that has happened before in engineering history. i'm suck in engineering duhh. haha

not knowing what you want to be in your life is a FAILED bro. big time failed. so adik adik cari lah cita-cita yg pasti itu dari sekarang okay ? :) *bajet blog femes je hahaha poyo

everyday as life passing by, i just keep on going with the flow. the term "success" . i tried to view it in different perspective. my view on being successful is tidak-menyusahkan-ibu-bapa-bila-dah-dewasa-and-menjadi-hamba-Allah-yang-sebenar.

there's this saying that sounds like "GOD PUT YOU WHERE YOU"LL GROW BEST". i put it in my mind always. why must it be here in semenyih ? why must is be engineering ? i hope one day i can find the answer.

for now i do know one thing. to succesfully graduated from this university. let's just focus on it now adam.


p/s : sori dengan english yg sangat teruk ini okay. saya sedang cuba improved english. mana-mana pakar grammar nak tegur kesalahan grammar saya ni. sila lah. amat dialu-alukan. :)

When you follow a purpose (Islam), small problems (your daily drama) pale in comparison to your mission (worshipping Allah)